It's Friday. Sex?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
either way he was missing a nipple.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
did i walk over a car last night?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
