i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
