found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
