you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
two words: eviction party
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
