PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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