dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
