there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize