She is in my trunk
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
