you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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