Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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