lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
