Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
