u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
