I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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