If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Randomize
