Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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