Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
