this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
