You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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