I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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