Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
