Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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