grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
