your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
