oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
