so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
