just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
