Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Shame - the story of my life.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
