Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
