And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
