I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
