The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
