how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
