i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
