I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i wish my penis had a tongue
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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