Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
