Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
