the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
