Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
