he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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