Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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