God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
