Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
