Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
