I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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