he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
