Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
