I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
