I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Im part way to drunk.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
