ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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