id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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