didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
